Sideswipe Versus Thunderhoof Read online

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  Steve puffs out his chest and takes in the surroundings.

  “So, you live in this junkyard? That’s lame.”

  “Actually, it’s a vintage salvage depot for the discriminating nostalgist.”

  Steve, Joey, and Johnny exchange looks. Johnny scratches his head.

  “I think you need to use smaller words, Dad,” Russell says, getting up off the ground.

  Denny stands by his son and offers, “So unless you’re here to make a purchase, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  Steve clears his throat and hawks a wad of phlegm onto the dirt.

  “Let’s bounce, guys,” he says to his friends. “This place sucks anyway.”

  As the three teens turn to walk away, Joey stops in his tracks. He runs over to the left side of the yard and readjusts his glasses.

  “Whoa!” he shouts. “Maybe this place doesn’t suck after all. Look!”

  Joey points to something in the distance. Steve and Johnny run over to him while Denny and Russell follow his gaze.

  “Whoa!” Johnny repeats. “That’s awesome.”

  At that moment, both father and son realize what the teenagers are gawking at, but it is too late. The secret is out.

  “Oh no,” they cry. “Grimlock!”

  Chapter 4

  Russell and Denny run after Steve, Joey, and Johnny. The three teens clamor around the dinobot and stare in awe.

  “Check it out, dude. That thing is ah-mazing!” Joey shouts.

  “What is it?” Johnny asks.

  “Oh, that?” Russell says nonchalantly. “That is a leftover prop from a Japanese monster movie. No big deal, really.”

  Steve walks around Grimlock, inspecting him from top to bottom.

  “Did you say Japanese monster movie?” he asks. “The correct term is kaiju, and I’ve seen each one twice. This guy isn’t in any of them.”

  “Are you sure?” Russell asks, trying to remain calm.

  “I’m positive,” Steve sneers. “I take my monster movies very seriously.”

  Suddenly, a voice echoes from inside the trash can.

  “Kaiju—the Japanese word that translates to ‘strange creature,’” Fixit says.

  Steve whirls around in confusion.

  “What did you say?” he asks Denny.

  Russell panics and looks at his dad.

  “I picked this strange creature up when I was in Japan,” Denny says. “It was made in a little village named Cybertron.”

  “Cyber-what?” says Joey.

  “That’s not a real place,” adds Johnny.

  “Oh, it is,” Denny continues. “But it’s so small it’s not even on the map. Good luck finding it!”

  “Whatever, garbage man,” Steve scowls.

  Joey walks around Grimlock this time.

  “Actually, he looks more like a dinosaur,” the bespectacled boy observes.

  “Aw, yeah,” says Johnny. “Like from one of those movies about a theme park where humans clone dinosaurs and they run amok and start eating people. I love that stuff!”

  “Only this one looks more fake,” Joey says.

  Grimlock narrows his optic sensors in anger.

  Steve walks around Grimlock a second time, kicking the dinobot’s plating with his steel-toed boots.

  CLANG!

  CLANG!

  Grimlock tries really hard not to laugh because the kicks tickle.

  “Hmm. Feels fake, too,” says Steve.

  All of a sudden, Grimlock catches a glimpse of the tattoo on Steve’s shoulder. It is of a cat wearing an astronaut suit.

  The dinobot has an irrational fear of felines, and a space cat is especially horrifying!

  Grimlock roars in fear, waving his arms and stomping his feet.

  “SPACE CAT! AAAARGH!”

  Steve lets out a high-pitched scream and falls on his backside.

  “Who turned it on?” he shrieks as Grimlock continues to flail in fear.

  The terrified teen jumps up and turns to run, but he bumps into Joey and knocks the redhead’s glasses off—just in time for Johnny to tumble over Joey and trip Steve backward into an empty refrigerator.

  THUMP!

  THUD!

  “You break it, you buy it.” Russell laughs.

  Denny calms Grimlock down and guides him toward the command center.

  Joey and Johnny lift Steve out of the fridge, and they run into the parking lot.

  “You better watch your back, junkboy,” Steve threatens.

  He leans on the hood of a nearby red sports car to catch his breath.

  “I think you should watch yours,” Russell replies.

  Suddenly, the car’s lights turn on and the horn blares, scaring the teens again.

  It’s really Sideswipe!

  The Autobot revs his engine.

  VRROOM! VRROOM!

  “Gah!” Johnny screams. “This is just like that movie where a guy’s car comes to life and starts killing people. That car was red, too!”

  “Will you shut up already?” Steve shouts.

  Following Sideswipe’s cue, Bumblebee and Strongarm turn on their lights and rev their engines, too.

  “I think this place is haunted,” Joey says, trembling.

  Sideswipe blasts a heavy-metal song from his speakers. Steve and his friends cover their ears and run out of the scrapyard.

  Russell and Denny are laughing so hard they can barely keep themselves up.

  Sideswipe changes into his bot mode and joins the humans.

  “What a bunch of klutz-o-trons,” he replies.

  “Thanks for watching my back,” Russell says to the Autobot. “I appreciate it. Those guys are jerks.”

  “Don’t mention it, pipsqueak,” Sideswipe says.

  Bumblebee and Strongarm shift into their bot modes as well.

  “That was a good strategic move you pulled back there,” Bumblebee says to Sideswipe. “We backed you up because we trusted your decision. That’s how a team works together.”

  Sideswipe turns away because he is moved by his leader’s words.

  “I believe he’s blushing, sir,” Strongarm says with a smile.

  “All right, all right, that’s enough,” Sideswipe hollers. “Isn’t there some lesson Bee should be droning on about?”

  Bumblebee brightens.

  “Sideswipe, that’s another excellent idea! You’re knocking them out of the park today!”

  Strongarm sidles up next to her lieutenant.

  “Yes, more training exercises and fieldwork,” she states. “That way, we’ll be prepared to trounce our Decepticon enemies.”

  “I admire your enthusiasm, cadets!” Bumblebee says. “Let’s head to the command center.”

  As Bumblebee and Strongarm walk away, Sideswipe hangs back and leans over to Russell.

  “Looks like Strongarm may have competition for the position of teacher’s bot, heh heh!”

  Back at the command center, Fixit uses the holo-scroll to detect any traces of Decepticons. He works his digits over the keyboard and a three-dimensional map of Crown City appears.

  A bright red dot starts blipping in an area southwest of the scrapyard.

  “This area has a high constellation… constipation… concentration of Decepticons!” Fixit says, chucking himself. “It is near the Crown City harbor.”

  “Those look like the docks,” Denny says. “There’s nothing out there but abandoned warehouses.”

  “A perfect hiding spot for fugitives,” Bumblebee replies. “We can boot up the Groundbridge and catch them by surprise.”

  He attempts a rallying cry that will bring his team of Autobots together.

  “Let’s move it or lose it, team!”

  Sideswipe cringes.

  “Not bad,” he says. “That was your best one yet, Bee!”

  “Stop kissing rear bumper!” Strongarm shouts at Sideswipe and huffs off.

  Bumblebee looks out toward the setting sun on the horizon and implores the guidance of his wise and fallen leader. “O
h, Optimus Prime… help us keep it together!”

  Then he rushes toward the teleportation device.

  Chapter 5

  Meanwhile, across Crown City in a more industrial part of town, Steeljaw is lying low in the old steel mill that serves as his hideout.

  This cold, calculating criminal was the most dangerous Decepticon aboard the Alchemor. Once it crash-landed, Steeljaw made a hasty escape. The wolflike warrior also deactivated the glowing Decepticon symbol on his body so as not to be tracked.

  Steeljaw soon began recruiting fellow Decepticons for a much darker purpose. With him now are two of his more cunning cohorts, Thunderhoof and Underbite.

  “Nothing must distract us from annihilating those disgusting Autobots forever,” Steeljaw says. “Then we will be the only powerful beings on this wretched rock!”

  “Aw yeah!” Underbite cheers. “More power gets me pumped!”

  The canine Chompozoid flexes his metallic muscles and admires himself in a nearby reflective surface. “Let’s bring on the bruises, boss!”

  “Hrrmph!” Thunderhoof snorts. “Back on Cybertron, I was the boss! Had me my own criminal enterprise. I was running an empire, see?”

  Underbite covers his audio receptors.

  “Oh, not this again,” the gargantuan gear-head groans. “How many times we gotta hear the same thing? I was running an empire, wah, wah, wah!”

  “As many times as it takes for youse guys to get it through your thick heads!” Thunderhoof snaps.

  Quick as a flash, Steeljaw leaps through the air and pins Thunderhoof to the wall.

  ROAR!

  THUD!

  “Perhaps you should stop running your mouth, if you know what’s best for you,” Steeljaw threatens.

  He bares his razor-sharp claws and brings them close to Thunderhoof’s snout. They glint in the light. The elk-like Decepticon trembles, and his antlers rattle against each other.

  “Fight! Fight! Fight!” Underbite chants.

  Steeljaw shoots him a deadly stare.

  Underbite stops chanting.

  “As much as I despise you both, you have traits that will prove helpful in achieving my ultimate goal—coming into contact with the Anti-Spark! With it in my possession, I will bring about unimaginable destruction!”

  Steeljaw releases Thunderhoof from his viselike grip.

  “Sure thing, Steeljaw,” Thunderhoof wheezes. “We’ll do things your way…”

  Steeljaw walks away.

  Once he is out of earshot, Thunderhoof adds, “… for now.”

  Then the elkbot trudges toward the exit.

  “Where are you going?” Underbite asks.

  “What’s it to ya, huh?” Thunderhoof replies. “I’m gettin’ me some fresh air.”

  “I’ll join you,” Underbite offers.

  “Fine, but keep yer yap shut.”

  Underbite silently follows Thunderhoof outside. After a few moments of walking through a dark alley, the terrible twosome arrives at the docks.

  Thunderhoof breaks the silence.

  “That Steeljaw’s got motor oil for brains if he thinks I can’t run an operation,” he says. “You wanna know somethin’, kid? When I first got to this backwater planet I was runnin’ myself a pretty sweet racket.”

  “What did you do?” Underbite asks.

  “You ain’t gonna believe this,” Thunderhoof says with a smile. “I convinced a buncha local yokels to help me build a Space Bridge! Made ’em think I was this legendary monster givin’ out orders, see? Called myself ‘the Kospego.’ What a riot!

  “What’s a Kospego?”

  “Who gives a scrap? You had to see these fellas runnin’ around callin’ themselves ‘antler-heads’ or somethin’!”

  Thunderhoof doubles over with laughter.

  “So, what happened next?” Underbite asks.

  “They got me all the stuff I needed to build the Bridge, see? Got it all laid out. Had me a workin’ portal until these wise-guy Autobots show up and the whole shebang goes kaput!”

  “Sounds like you had a good thing going,” says Underbite.

  “Ain’t that the truth. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling bots!”

  Thunderhoof kicks an empty oil drum clear across the dock.

  CLANG!

  “Yo!” Underbite howls. “That was a perfectly good snack!”

  The canine robot bounds over to the dented oil drum and picks it up. Then he rips it in half with his bare paws and bites down on one of the pieces.

  CHOMP!

  The bot’s body starts to shimmer and grow. Being a Chompozoid means that Underbite can grow in size and strength by consuming metal.

  “Mmm. It’s still got some oil in it for extra flavor!” he says, licking his maw. “You want some?”

  “Nah,” Thunderhoof replies.

  “Good,” Underbite says. “More for me!”

  All of a sudden, there is a loud, clattering commotion coming from within the warehouse.

  BAM!

  BANG! CLANG!

  Underbite stops eating and sniffs the air.

  “Smells like trouble,” he says, swallowing the remains of the oil drum. His body shimmers and grows a little bit more.

  “Let’s get some eyes on the situation before we step in it,” Thunderhoof advises.

  The elkbot gallops and leaps high into the air. He lands on the roof of the warehouse and waits for Underbite to climb up the side of the wall.

  Together, the Decepticons make their way over to a large skylight and peer into the warehouse. One overhead lamp provides the only light. There is movement coming from within.

  Thunderhoof and Underbite are able to see three figures: Two of them are lugging large steel drums while the third supervises. There are rows and rows of metal shelves lining the floor of the warehouse. The two figures carrying the drums disappear behind a large shelf. This one is stacked high with several identical steel drums.

  “Hmm,” Thunderhoof muses. “Seems like we ain’t the only game in town. Looks like these players are runnin’ a racket of their own.”

  The remaining figure steps out of the shadows into the moonlight. Underbite gasps.

  “It’s a catbot!” he snarls. “Catbots are our sworn enemies! Grrr!”

  Thunderhoof says, “I think it’s time for a hostile takeover. What say we drop in with a little welcome wagon?”

  Underbite nods his massive head in agreement and the Decepticons smash through the skylight into the warehouse.

  SKEESH!

  The catbot’s audio receptors perk up, and she whirls in time to see the two Decepticons fall into view. Her claws extend and her back arches.

  “Did we catch you at a bad time?” Thunderhoof sneers.

  “You’ve just crossed this black catbot’s path,” she hisses. “Which means you’re in for some bad luck!”

  Chapter 6

  Just as suddenly, two more Decepticons come rushing from the other end of the warehouse. One of them is a raticon. The other, a weaselbot.

  “What’s the glitch, boss?” the weaselbot asks, twitching his whiskers.

  “Seems like we got uninvited guests,” squeaks the raticon.

  “Boss?” Thunderhoof says.

  The antlered Decepticon changes his tune and lays on the charm. “I was a boss back on Cybertron. Maybe you hearda me? I’m Thunderhoof.”

  The catbot lowers her claws.

  “I’m Slink,” she replies. “And your name don’t ring no bell to me.”

  “You sure about that? I’m a pretty big deal,” Thunderhoof says, puffing up his chest.

  “Look, moose. You heard the lady,” the weaselbot says. “Your name don’t ring no bell. So make tracks before we wring you out personally.”

  The raticon swings his tail from side to side and narrows his beady little optics.

  Thunderhoof grits his teeth but maintains his cool.

  “And who might you be?”

  “I’m Sneak,” says the weaselbo
t.

  “I’m Snitch,” says the raticon.

  “And I’m the Devourer of Nuon City!” growls Underbite.

  “Easy, will ya,” Thunderhoof scolds. “You ain’t helping.”

  Slink hisses at the Chompozoid.

  “Why don’tcha keep that mutt on a leash?” she says.

  “That’s it, catbot! You’re about to lose four of your nine lives!”

  Slink steps back and whistles.

  “Boys? Sic ’em!”

  In an instant, the two Decepticon lackeys leap into action, springing toward Underbite. They slam him backward, each bot pinning one of his arms to the wall.

  “Looks like it’s time for me to take out my boys,” Underbite grunts. He flexes his bulging biceps and breaks free from Snitch and Sneak.

  “Meet Thundercruncher!” cries the Chompozoid as he winds up a right uppercut.

  BANG!

  Sneak goes sailing through the air and crashes into a metal shelving unit.

  CLANG!

  Underbite kisses his right bicep and says, “Thanks, Thundercruncher.” Then he turns to face Sneak.

  “Meet Boltsmasher!” shouts the Chompozoid, and he swings his left fist at the raticon.

  Snitch surprises Underbite and drops low to the ground. He swings his large tail in an arc and sweeps the Chompozoid off his feet.

  Underbite lands hard.

  THUD!

  “Keep the introductions to yerself!” Snitch sneers.

  At that moment, Sneak recovers and pounces on Underbite. Snitch joins him and the two Decepticons slash and bash the big Chompozoid.

  “Two bots are better than one!” Sneak cheers.

  Underbite lifts each of his opponents by the neck and slams their heads together.

  KLONK!

  “They sure are!” he retorts.

  Meanwhile, outside the abandoned factory, there is a burst of bright, colorful light signaling the opening of a portal. Team Bee steps out of the Groundbridge, and the brightness disappears as soon as it closes.

  Bumblebee surveys the surroundings. The industrial area is a large maze of tall concrete buildings. The full moon provides some light, its reflection skittering across the rippling waves of the water beyond the docks.